Weightlessness

It still surprises me, after all these years, how easily I can be hurt by thoughtless comments from my parents. I feel as if I have been expected to always be the child to buck up without complaint, to bend to the plans/interests of others. I don’t know if it is fair to claim that I have always done so. But certainly I can claim to have, more frequently than not, altered my trajectory. My move back to my hometown is evidence enough of that.

I am sorry to say that I cannot always do so without a little emotional flotsam. There are days, like today, when I get tired of feeling as if I am the only one making certain overtures in my family. At the very least I am tired of such overtures going unnoticed.

Is it wrong, at 34, to still need a little recognition, even perhaps a little approval, from your parent? I suppose we never really stop being our parents’ children.

In related news I told my Dad about the diet. His response was, basically, “I’ll see how good of a plan it is when I see if you succeed.” Hard to not be deflated in the wake of such enthusiasm.

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